Yesterday, I attended my daughter's 8th grade continuation ceremony. 

6 students spoke and one thing I heard each prospective high school student say was some variation of, "High school is going to be hard."

Why does it have to be hard? I asked myself. Could we tell our kids that high school is fun and enlightening with many growth opportunities?

When I was a student, I fell for the myth that you have to work hard to be successful. I studied all the time to get straight A's. Now, as an adult, I wish I had spent more time developing a growth mindset as a kid. If I had focused more on mindset and less on being perfect, I would have been better equipped to face life's difficulties through the lens of opportunity instead of obstacle. 

When you tell yourself something is going to be challenging, you will find the path of most resistance to prove your affirmation. On the other hand, when you view life through the lens of flow and ease, you begin to find ways to make life easier.   

I know we have all been told, "You have to work hard to succeed." In the past few years, I have been tuning into the flow of life that happens when I surrender my expectations. There are 3 steps I have taken to create an easier experience of life. 

Relax

I am a Taurus and my sign has a reputation for being stubborn. Throughout most of my life, I have prided myself in the ability to push through difficulty and get things done. I was depleted and had a short fuse. I was yelling all the time because no one was meeting my lofty expectations. 

It turns out I was in a perpetual state of fight or flight. Every day something was triggering  a stress response and I perceived most things as urgent. And my life was so crazy!

As I calmed the fire in me using meditation, regular yoga practice and conscious breathing, I began to feel peaceful. Now when my body tenses up, whether during a run or while sitting at my desk, I relax instead of push through it. Relaxing might mean softening my abs, smiling, taking several deep breaths or even lying down to rest.  

Simplify

My desk used to be littered with sticky notes that reminded me of all the things I wasn't doing, making me feel worse and worse each day. I was never doing enough. 

Now, I choose 3 Big Tasks each day and I fully engage with each task and see it through to completion. I ask Spirit for guidance on how I am here to serve in the world today. Then I listen and write down the answers. This is very different from the busy multi-tasking version of myself who stumbled to the finish line of each day feeling depleted. 

So a typical task list might look like this

Write Blog Post - Feeling focused

Presentation for networking group - Feeling energized

Meet with clients and teach classes - Feeling enthusiastic

If I am performing any of these tasks and it becomes a hassle or stressful, I take a break or complete it at another time because nothing is worth losing my peace for. 

Conscious Language

When I became aware that I can author my life, I began to pay close attention to the stories I tell myself. After a night of poor sleep, I might say, "This day is going to be rough. I hardly got any sleep." 

When I began to say, I choose to flow with ease today, I would quickly forget about the sleepless night, complete my tasks and find a time to nap during the day.  

I practice conscious language when I play tennis now. I still yell to myself, "What a stupid shot!" when I miss a forehand, but I do it way less than I used to. It is amazing how when I relax my body, focus on the feeling I hope to generate in the point and give myself a pep talk how much better I play. 

I LOVE my victory. 

I CAN do this. 

I CHOOSE to make this easy. 

This is the type of dialogue I engage with on a more regular basis. While I may not have everything I desire in life, I worry a lot less because I TRUST that life is meant to be easy, and I know that everything is here to help me live in serenity and ease.  

Isn’t it great to know you have a choice?

Choose to make life easy, enlightening, and fun and

you will find the opportunities to support that decision.